clumsy_optimist: (Default)
HAHA well I guess the easiest way is to do one of those dumb surveys...

clumsy_optimist: (Dude I am so stoned right now)
 Have people heard of this? A... friend of mine told me about it a little so I took a quiz. I got: 

Root: under-active (-12%)
Sacral: open (56%)
Navel: under-active (-50%)
Heart: open (50%)
Throat: open (50%)
Third Eye: open (25%)
Crown: under-active (6%) This is supposed to explain all that. It's kind of cool. She says her third eye is the most open. But now I can't get the image of her with three eyes out of my head and it's weird.


[[ooc: My results:

Root: under-active (0%)
Sacral: over-active (69%)
Navel: under-active (-31%)
Heart: open (56%)
Throat: over-active (88%)
Third Eye: open (25%)
Crown: open (19%)

I definitely took this a while back and I don't think I was this much of a basket case. Then again I tend to be more cautious answering for a character than I am while answering for myself, so. Welllll at least we're a LITTLE different, right?]]

clumsy_optimist: (FOCUSED)
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Yes! There should always be some leeway in terms of punishment. I don't think it should be an immediate option, because then people would probably choose it out of fear without fully assessing the situation. I would say a minimum of five years, and then after that point give people the option. There are people out there who are being kept alive and don't want to be, and it'd cost a lot less to be merciful to that.

But, then again, there's the question of their loved ones. Keeping them alive would grant their loved ones the opportunity to still see them or communicate with them in some way if they're allowed. It would be unfair to them to provide such an easy way out. Why should criminals who want to die be given an advantage over good people who want to die? Is it even an advantage? Good people who want to die often change their minds. By giving legal suicide, are we being merciful, or are we denying people the chance to turn around?

I guess now I'm leaning more towards no. Even if you require the consent of loved ones, there's no way to do that without any room for bitter feelings. A family may sign off on someone's assisted suicide and then regret it for the rest of their lives. It's difficult enough for them knowing someone in their family is deserving of life in prison. It's not just like signing a DNR. There are a lot of other emotions involved and it can skew the ability for justice to take place. A family could either be in denial and want to hang on to their loved one as long as possible under the belief that they're innocent, or they could be bitter and sign off on their death impulsively.

I'm not against the death penalty, per se. Not at all, really. But it should be given objectively, not subjectively. It's not to say that the person sentencing shouldn't be intimately aware of all the details involved, because they should. But it needs to come from someone who has no attachments. And I guess that would also exclude the criminal himself.

So, no. Probably.
clumsy_optimist: (more indifference)
...Not her, too. I can't even... I thought this was over.

It's unbelievable the amount of pain that kid brought upon everyone close to him. How can anyone think that's okay? How can you destroy everything around you and expect support from the people you hurt? You get so hung up on making an impact on the world that you forget you make an impact on those closest to you. When that's gone, you're useless. Each of us is only one person; you need more than that to take on the world, if it's possible to do that at all. But people won't side with you if they see you're capable of cruelty. And people especially won't side with you if it's proven that they can't trust you. Well... except her, I guess. But I'm willing to bet she knew what she was dealing with. When she did know, I mean. She had no idea what everything meant at the end, did she? She couldn't remember. She didn't have the book, Mikami did. She couldn't have even known why she even met Light in the first place, let alone why she was in love with him. I can't imagine how horrible that must be, not remembering falling in love, and being trapped in it later without knowing why.

The speculation is disgusting. "Oh, what may have caused it?" "oh, movie stars are always depressed," "oh well it was probably an overdose; that's what they all do, isn't it?"

They have no idea. They have no goddamn idea. Sure, it'd be a lot easier to just take everything as a story and be done with it, but these are real people, real human beings. They did it when Takki died, and now they're doing it to Misa-Misa. And they know she jumped off the building, and they're still saying it was drugs. She never touched anything like that. I can't even imagine it. She drank, and that's it. ...Maybe that was part of it, actually. I wouldn't want to feel the fall, either. I guess they'll find out when they examine her.

And it was that building, that's what gets me. She picked that hotel. Nobody knows what that means, they think it's random, they don't know. But... people all over the world are mourning her. It's all over TV and it infuriates me, and yet I can't stop watching it all. Maybe it's just taking media overload to actually make me believe it happened. And at the same time, I'm not surprised at all. It's just... that was the last of it. It better be the last of it; I don't even want to think about... no. They're fine. They will be fine.

And it's kind of ironic, actually. There are some people speculating that it was Kira, and they're all being shot down for being stupid, because Misa did nothing wrong, Misa even supported him after the tragedy with her parents, Kira would have no reason to kill her. And meanwhile, they're the only ones that are right.

Aizawa let Mogi go home early today.
clumsy_optimist: (Eyes closed)
 He said he knew I understood. That I'd be the only one to understand, out of everyone there.

Am I just fighting now for something I don't understand? I hate people who do that. Don't tell me I'm one of them.

...No, that's silly. What he did made me understand why I was where I had been all along. I can't just let people dictate my own opinions for me.
clumsy_optimist: (apathetic)
 I really, REALLY do not want to go into work today.

Whatever. Need to get some sleep, if I can.
clumsy_optimist: (I love this fantasy)
I definitely just had a dream that I was playing tic-tac-toe with the guy from the Hoot music video... on the SNSD members, using nyotaimori.

I don't remember who won. I think everyone did.

I've stopped asking questions about my mind. ^___^

clumsy_optimist: (Channeling Italy?)
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Oh man, that would be so cool!!!

Okay, so um, let's see. There's this guy and um ... he discovers he has the ability to close his eyes and be able to see anyone of his choosing. Like, just spy on them without them knowing, as if he were actually in the room. He's got a photographic memory and has the entire world map committed to it and he can zoom in like you can on Google Maps. This of course provides for some hilarity in the beginning of the series, but then he gets hired as a secret agent. So they start telling him to spy on enemies and he gives them the info, but while he's spying he falls in love with one of the girls on the enemy's side! Now he's conflicted! What to do?!

And that's it. I call it ... Google Map Man. No, that's stupid.


edit: I forgot to put actors in it. Uhhh, it would star ... Matthew Broderick, and the girl would be either Scarlett Johansen or Anne Hathaway. His boss is Harrison Ford.
clumsy_optimist: (*snort*)
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If I'm on the highway, I blast the stereo. I try not to do it in slower traffic or residential areas because it's kind of douchey. Also it's more fun to blast the stereo when you're actually going fast!!

...Okay, if I ever get a really, really nice car it might be kinda cool to drive it with the stereo moderately loud, not to the level of being a douchebag but definitely to the level of feeling awesome.

Oh, but I just wouldn't sing like I normally do if the windows were down. Nobody wants to hear that.
clumsy_optimist: (droooooool)
I'm gonna go watch... CHICAGO!

clumsy_optimist: (eeeuuuwwww)
...I found a gray hair.

What the hell??

Screw you, time!

Oh and you too, stress. Maybe you more.
clumsy_optimist: (blahblahblahblah)
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Something like Osaka, but not as humid.

Oh, and no crime, which I guess would put me out of a job, wouldn't it? But it doesn't matter if there's peace. Ah - peace without fear, mind you.

Free cable, free drinks, cute masseuse?

I'm so creative, aren't I?
clumsy_optimist: (AWESOME)

That is all.
clumsy_optimist: (Sleepy)
Why can't I sleep during stress?

Okay, that's a dumb question. A better question is: why don't I ever exhibit signs of stress during the day? Don't people have nervous ticks or... at least feel like resolving the problem??

Why can't I remember how much I regret it when I fail to perform a simple task, am reprimanded for it, and know that it's a result of me avoiding things? I never remember this, I just keep on escaping the issue at hand and intentionally distracting myself.

And then assume that everything is going to be fine because people are just used to me doing this. Like a child. I wonder if people stopped seeing me as a child, I'll stop acting like one.

But that's completely backwards, and I know it.

It's also amazing how writing that down just lifted it off my shoulders, and how ridiculously depressed I sound compared to how I feel while writing this part. But, you know, I should leave it there. Because then maybe I'll remember. Because I know I'm cut out for my job. I have to be, staying here for so long. And I couldn't live with myself if I did anything else. I love knowing that I'm contributing to society and the safety of others, and remembering this always brings me out of these lapses in confidence, because the fact that I have this job to begin with means that I am not simply taking up space and bothering people.

I am sick of soba, though. Can't a working man eat something other than noodles and grilled meat??

Solution: I need someone to make me pretty bentos.

I should get on that.
clumsy_optimist: (T_T)
Yes I know I've posted quizzes AS him before, but going ooc so I can do this twice for comparison.


-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --


-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --

well, damn. :(
clumsy_optimist: (Hrmph)
I've been feeling off lately. Not even sad, just completely strange. Like... you know how your mind drifts somewhere when you're not thinking about anything else? Like, it can be anything, usually it's the same few things that just sort of alternate so that you don't get bored? Well, for some reason my mind isn't settling in those happy spots. It's strange. It's like the opposite of the usual "inability to relax" syndrome because usually, if I can't relax, it's because too much is on my mind. Now it's because nothing is. It's like I can't space off!! How is it that I can't space off!? I always space off. Well, maybe I'll be more focused at work, at least.

Grabbed dinner with Ide-san again today. Still not much news about this girl he's seeing. We were early enough for happy hour this time! I think I like tsukune too much. He likes the chicken livers... I don't know, they taste like metal.

Hmm, maybe that's the solution, come up with a new thing to think about idly. Food! Yeah, right, like I need that. I wish my apartment allowed a hibachi.

I saw Inception! And DAMN what a mindfuck. :) Makes you wonder if any plane of existence is a true one. Scary if there isn't a true "reality" but... you know, that's kind of cool, because if you get good enough, you get to pick which plane you exist in. I don't know if I'd want to completely leave a world though, even if I could dream up a world where everything was the way I wanted it, because even if I changed one thing for the better, something else would have to give. I want to jump back and forth between worlds, that way I can have everything!

But I think the point is that you can't do that and still be sane, so I should just stop talking.

EDIT: PS Ellen Page is adoooooooooraaaaablllllllllllllle also I read that apparently she has lots of out-of-body experiences, or vivid sleep hallucinations or something, and that the movie hit way too close to home. Wow!
clumsy_optimist: (:|)
To Kill a Mockingbird was on the other day.

I miss the chief.
clumsy_optimist: (:))
I took quizzes! Booorrrrreeed.

Who will you be stuck with at end of time? by chi_a_baidh
Your name is
Your sex is
Your favorite color is
You are stuck there becauseyou were dead, but then you weren't.. Look at that...
For _____ years28
With Jennifer Aniston. Click for pic.
He/She will think you areugly
You willrun far, far away

What will your last words be?
by cum_on_bitch
Your LJ username
Your real name
Your sex
Your age
Your last words will be..."LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED"

What makes you horny by ForeignEscapades
favorite color
This will make you hornyrednecks.

Your Future! by sum41prin
Name or LJ username:
Location:Lake Titicaca, Peru
Job:salmon breeder
How much youll make per year:$5,823

Hahahahah. These are silly.
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